Care and Feeding of the Agitated Astrophysicist
by SaJi
Summary: John Sheppard had a ritual.


**Title:** Care and Feeding of the Agitated Astrophysicist - Offerings to the Demon Lord of the Labs.  
**Rating:** G  
**Warnings/Spoilers:** None.  
**Characters: **John Sheppard, Rodney McKay  
**Summary:** John Sheppard had a ritual.  
**Status:** Complete.  
**Beta:** None.

**Notes:** Special thanks to godess47 & an anonymous poster (you know who you are) for the title suggestions.

**Care and Feeding of the Agitated Astrophysicist  
Offerings to the Demon Lord of the Labs**

John Sheppard had a ritual. He wasn't really sure when it started, or why. He just knew it was something that he had to do, it just felt natural. McKay was after all a member of his team and as a leader it was his job to ensure his teammates well being.

It wasn't like he wouldn't do the same for Teyla or Ronon, it was just that there really was no need. Unlike a certain astrophysicist the other two members of Atlantis' lead team knew how to take care of themselves.

At least that was what he liked to tell himself.

The truth was, if he cared to admit it to himself (which he didn't, thank you very much), was that he got an unexplainable thrill from his self appointed task. The sense of a mission well done and if there did happen to be other more illusive, warm and somewhat fuzzy feelings in there somewhere they were promptly stomped out and ignored.

Sheppard did not do 'warm and fuzzy' damnit.

Humming quietly to himself some unnamed tune John finished tying the laces of his boots and, glancing at his watch, pulled on a black t-shirt over his head before leaving the dark confines of his room for the slightly lesser dark and abandoned corridors of Atlantis.

01:30. Smirking slightly to himself John plucked at the slightly damp shirt, grateful for the quick little shower he had allowed himself to indulge in earlier, and started out at a nice slow jog letting the quiet echoes of his steady pace to wash over him as he considered his time table. If his 'McKay Sense' was right (and he was sure it was) then Rodney would only be able to hold out for about another hour and a half before the scientist would give in and giving up on any semblance of sleeping march darkly down the silent halls of Atlantis to firmly ensconce himself within his lab for the remainder of the night and more likely than not a good portion of the following morning as well.

Maybe Sheppard could take pity on him and take a Puddlejumper on their mission to P4X-276 they had planed for 11:00. Then again… Allowing his smirk to grow slightly at the imaginary McKay that was bitching in his head about 'stupid, rainy planets and stupid, ignorant backwards imbeciles that wouldn't know a road if it smacked them in the face and why exactly did everyone insist on building their sorry excuses for villages miles from the Stargate anyways…' John slowed his pace and silently slipped into the darkened mess hall, winding his way to the back to check out the selections that had already been set aside to be offered to the early shifts later that morning.

Setting aside a chocolate, chocolate chip muffin and two powerbars he cocked his hip against the counter and waited for the coffee machine to do its percolating thing and crossing his arms loosely against his chest allowed his thoughts to wonder back to earlier that evening.

To say McKay had been pissed would have been an understatement if there ever was one. He was absolutely livid and in fine rant mode with half his staff in or on the verge of tears and the other half looking like they wanted to be anywhere but where they had unfortunately found themselves to be. It had been Zelenka that had hunted down John and dragged him down to the labs, motioning towards a red-faced and spluttering Rodney (complete with wild hand gestures), while muttering darkly to himself in Czech..

John had just stood in the doorway for a moment (one eyebrow raised as McKay looked about ready to vault over a workbench and strangle the life out of a particularly frightened looking minion, who was trying to keep said workbench firmly between himself and his boss) before stuffing his hands into his pockets, adopting a particularly annoying, relaxed slouched that was sure to drive McKay crazy and drawled his way into the conversation. It took some work, but eventually he managed to lure Rodney out of the labs with promises of fresh coffee, food and maybe even a little game of chess.

The coffee was great. The food good. McKay lost three games of chess and stormed out of the mess muttering darkly to himself about 'stupid closet geek Colonels with disgustingly unlogical hair'.

That had been approximately two and a half hours ago. Giving Rodney more or less (John figured more) than enough time for his never resting mind to wind back to its previous stomping ground, spurring Rodney back into his dark mood and stealing any rest the scientist may have had this night.

Frowning as the coffee machine finished doing it's thing Sheppard filled the largest mug he could find and snatching the plate of treats headed for the nearest transporter and form there to Rodney's lab. As much as he might enjoy his 'missions' sometimes John couldn't help but resent Rodney just a bit for making the ritual necessary in the first place.

What the idiot 'genius' needed was proper sleep and not coffee and sugar, which unfortunately beat out sleep ninety percent of the time. A curse, John supposed, of the mans inability to turn off or at the very least ignore the racing thoughts of his ever restless brain. And has much as John might wish it to sometimes be different he knew that Rodney would never change and so here he was yet once again offering coffee and sugar to the 'Demon Lord' of Atlantis' science department.

Hopefully his small offering would appease the Dark One and the following night McKay might crash from the combination of a caffeine/sugar high, a nice long walk through a muddy jungle path on a miserably rainy planet to a village a ridiculously long way from the Stargate and lack of sleep to pass out for a few blissful hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Smiling smugly to himself Sheppard deposited the goodies on McKay's workbench and glancing at his watch hurried back to the corridor and a small sheltered alcove to wait for his wayward scientist to make his appearance.

It didn't take long at all for McKay to show; stalking down the hallway with fists clenched and lips pressed tightly together in a newly remembered rage, his mood so black the very shadows around him seeming to tremble and withdraw from his presence.

Sheppard watched in expectant silence, completely unobserved as McKay stormed into the lab, not bothering or noticing with the door that did not close behind him and picking up a tool immediately began jabbing it viciously at the bit of ancient technology that had been the cause of Rodney's ire and his minions terror earlier that evening.

Feeling his lips lift slightly into a small amused grin Sheppard leaned forward his eyes riveted to McKay's own lips as, at the moment, they seemed to be unsure as to whether they wanted to remain pressed tightly together in anger or relax into an amused grin of their own. After a moment the latter won out and setting the tool down McKay's hands wondered first to the muffin, snagging a wayward chocolate chip, and then to the mug of fresh coffee.

Sheppard's breath caught in his throat as Rodney wrapped his fingers lightly around the mug, bringing it up to press softly against his lips as he took a small sip, a genuine smile lightening up the scientists features as he absently picked up the abandoned tool once more in his free hand and, gently this time, turned his attention back to the ancient artifact that had stolen his sleep this night.

Unseemingly pleased with himself Sheppard slipped out of his hiding place, congratulating himself on another successful mission accomplished as he made his way to his quarters. And if some of those pesky warm and somewhat fuzzy feelings curled lazily in the pit of his stomach at the remembrance of Rodney's smile he resolutely pretended not to notice.

**End.**

**4/6/08** – Fixed a few spelling mistakes found after subsequent readings.  
**4/8/08 –** Fixed the spelling of Teyla's name. X Bad Ji-chan, Bad!  
**5/13/08 ****– **Misc stuffs.


End file.
